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❖ THE GRIPE ❖
A Personal Affront, Reported Faithfully
My phone bill came this week, and it has a fee on it that was not there before. T-Mobile's Regulatory Programs and Telco Recovery Fee goes from $4.49 to $5.49 per voice line each month, and the mobile internet fee goes from $2.10 to $2.60 per line. The change takes effect October 12, and it is the second time the fee has gone up this year. Nobody asked me. The fee has two names, one about regulation and one about recovery, and I could not find out what either one is recovering from. The increase is a dollar a line, which is the only part I understood on the first read. The article covers both voice lines and mobile internet lines, so the increase reaches the whole bill, not just the part I use. I will call them this afternoon and ask. I expect to be on hold long enough to read the fee schedule twice.
❖ THE DAMAGE REPORT ❖
Today's News, Ranked By How Much It Ruined My Mood
🔥 MOST ENRAGING
The AAA national average for regular gasoline was $4.3612 on October 8, and diesel was $6.2847. It came down a little this week, which is the kind of news you can only appreciate if you forget last week. The pump has not gotten the memo, and it is the only one that counts. The AAA figures are the national average, so the station on your corner may be higher.
😩 MOST EXHAUSTING
Trump posted that the U.S. "will not be attacking Iran at any time prior to the Midterm Elections" on November 3. Brent crude went as high as $105 a barrel before dropping to about $103. He also said oil is moving through the Strait of Hormuz in record numbers, while the U.S. blockade stays in full force. The oil price will reach the pump before anyone finishes arguing about it.
😤 UNREASONABLY ANNOYING
The one-time $90 payment goes to eligible traditional Medicare enrollees, about one-third of the 62.9 million people in Part B. It is funded by roughly $2 billion from the Medicare Improvement Fund. The standard Part B premium was $202.90 in 2026 and is expected to reach $209.50 in 2027, which is nearly $80 a year more. The check is a one-time payment. The premium will be billed every month.
🤷 SOMEHOW ALSO HAPPENING
The Financial Times reported that Starbucks has recently sought counsel on a proposal to take over Chipotle, a $41 billion chain. It is unclear whether Starbucks has made an offer. Chipotle shares jumped as much as 8 percent after the report, and Starbucks shares slipped about 4.4 percent before ending the day largely flat. Neither company responded to CBS News. I would like to know which of these two restaurants I am supposed to be eating at.
I Almost Threw Out My Keurig. It Wasn't Broken.
Every cup from my Keurig started tasting weak, flat, stale — so I unplugged it and stuck it in a closet. Then I learned the dirty secret of grocery store K-Cups: by the time a pod reaches your kitchen, it's usually spent months going from factory to warehouse to truck to shelf. The flavor oils are long gone. Some brands even over-roast to hide it.
The fix wasn't a new machine. It was fresh pods from Angelino's, a family-owned L.A. roastery that roasts, packs, and ships within 3–5 days — straight to your door, from 39¢ a cup. Over 1,000,000 happy customers. 50+ flavors, no subscription required, and 15% off your first order, applied automatically at checkout.
❖ AND SOME OTHER STUFF ❖
Briefly, And With Limited Enthusiasm
▸ Treasury automatically enrolled all eligible children in Trump Accounts. Treasury says over 60 million more children now have an account ready to be claimed, but parents still have to claim each one in the app. The default fund is an S&P 500 ETF with a 0.02 percent expense ratio, and parents can choose from four other funds in the coming months.
▸ Wharton is recruiting about 180 people to test whether GLP-1 drugs cut impulsive spending. The study runs from mid-October 2026 to about March 2027, and Noom, which is funding it, produced the earlier research it builds on. It has no results yet, which has not stopped the headline.
✦ THE ONE GOOD THING
Fine. A great horned owl got tangled in barbed wire on private land in Spearfish, South Dakota, and a couple driving past stopped to look. A passing driver had gloves and wire cutters. The landowner's daughter called her father, who agreed to let them cut the wire, and three people freed the bird while a fourth helped by phone. A veterinarian removed two steel barbs, and the Black Hills Raptor Center plans to release the owl nearby. I will call T-Mobile this afternoon with lower expectations.
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Bring a pencil to the hold music.
THE GRUMP · (AND LARRY)