Grump News

A daily news digest filtered through MY personal annoyances. The worst thing that happened to me today, plus headlines ranked by how much they ruined my mood.

My fence needed a permit. Sixty-nine gas turbines did not.

Aug 1, 2026

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3 min read

My fence needed a permit. Sixty-nine gas turbines did not.

Startups with venture money end up in more fraud cases, an AI reads your sleeping brain and tells you how old it really is, and Ohio police hunted a wild cat that turned out to be somebody's pet.

Nobody would say whose job the rotting fish sauce was, so a town smelled it for twenty years

Jul 31, 2026

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3 min read

Nobody would say whose job the rotting fish sauce was, so a town smelled it for twenty years

Florida is spending EV charger money on air taxi pads at golf courses, a 4,000-year-old city got more equal as it got richer, and an iguana cleared a FedEx store.

It is too hot to sleep and the experts suggest I close my curtains

Jul 30, 2026

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3 min read

It is too hot to sleep and the experts suggest I close my curtains

Pokemon shops in Japan will scan a child's face at the door, a deer got into Hersheypark, and the FCC has banned imported robot dogs.

Jul 29, 2026

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3 min read

eBay mailed a newsletter writer live cockroaches, and just paid $56 million

Robotaxis keep getting in the way of ambulances, marmot researchers lost their grants and opened an OnlyFans, and two bear cubs broke into a Colorado house for the cat food.

Scientists checked, and even my dreams are just me again

Jul 28, 2026

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3 min read

Scientists checked, and even my dreams are just me again

Apple wants to sell you politer surveillance glasses, Jupiter keeps its moons while Saturn loses all but one, and an Idaho man juggled fire off his own eyebrows.

They studied my recycling and found it means nothing

Jul 27, 2026

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3 min read

They studied my recycling and found it means nothing

Companies keep blaming the robots for the layoffs, the giant sequoias apparently need more fire, and Portugal's last circus elephant just clocked out for good.