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❖ THE GRIPE ❖
A Personal Affront, Reported Faithfully
I bought the Halloween candy this weekend, and the bag came out smaller than the receipt. Chocolate has been getting pricier for years because of cocoa, which cost about $3,434 a metric ton three years ago and peaked at just over $10,710 in January 2025. By July it had fallen to $5,619. The candy did not follow it down. The government's producer price index for chocolate and candy manufacturing is up nearly 67 percent over five years. Daniel Sumner, a UC Davis professor, said shoppers feel they should have seen more of the cocoa drop in their pockets. That is a careful way to put it. The National Retail Federation expects Americans to spend just over $4 billion on Halloween candy this year, up from $3.9 billion last year. Some of that is mine. I bought one bag, and this year every trick-or-treater on my street gets a single piece and a firm nod.
❖ THE DAMAGE REPORT ❖
Today's News, Ranked By How Much It Ruined My Mood
🔥 MOST ENRAGING
Hopper says domestic round-trip fares for Thanksgiving are averaging $402, and Christmas fares are up 23 percent to $452. Jet fuel averaged $99 a barrel before the Middle East conflict began in late February and hit $195 in mid-September, according to the International Air Transport Association. Google Flights data says the cheapest day to book a Thanksgiving trip is October 23. So the bargain is two and a half weeks away, and it will be a bargain on top of a 31 percent increase.
😩 MOST EXHAUSTING
Prime Big Deal Days runs 48 hours, October 6 and 7, starting at 12:01 a.m. Pacific time. Only Prime members get the deals, and membership is $139 a year or $14.99 a month. New deals drop three times a day, at midnight, 8 a.m. and 1 p.m. Pacific. The early deals went live before the sale began. The sale now works in shifts, and it showed up early for the first one.
😤 UNREASONABLY ANNOYING
PepsiCo recalled about 122,000 cases of 28-ounce Lemon Lime, Lemon Lime Zero, Orange and Orange Zero because the labels left off Yellow No. 5 and Yellow No. 6. The recall began September 25, and the FDA classified it as Class II on October 2. The two dyes missing from the label are the ones that make the drinks yellow and orange.
🤷 SOMEHOW ALSO HAPPENING
Coca-Cola Strawberry Float arrives in summer 2027, after a Cherry Lime Coke in February. Powerade gets watermelon and lemon-lime zero-sugar flavors in January, and Topo Chico gets pineapple-coconut in February. The company is also testing prebiotic versions of Coke Zero Sugar, Sprite Zero Sugar and Fresca in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. I have not finished this summer yet.
I Almost Threw Out My Keurig. It Wasn't Broken.
Every cup from my Keurig started tasting weak, flat, stale — so I unplugged it and stuck it in a closet. Then I learned the dirty secret of grocery store K-Cups: by the time a pod reaches your kitchen, it's usually spent months going from factory to warehouse to truck to shelf. The flavor oils are long gone. Some brands even over-roast to hide it.
The fix wasn't a new machine. It was fresh pods from Angelino's, a family-owned L.A. roastery that roasts, packs, and ships within 3–5 days — straight to your door, from 39¢ a cup. Over 1,000,000 happy customers. 50+ flavors, no subscription required, and 15% off your first order, applied automatically at checkout.
❖ AND SOME OTHER STUFF ❖
Briefly, And With Limited Enthusiasm
▸ The Eagles went 0 for 12 on third down in a loss to the Rams. They had 68 net passing yards, and Saquon Barkley hurt his hamstring on his only carry. Nick Sirianni said there were execution errors and coaching errors, which covers everyone in the building.
▸ Iran says the Strait of Hormuz stays closed until the U.S. meets seven conditions. Parliament speaker Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf said so Sunday. The strait has been blocked for more than seven months, and about a fifth of the world's oil and natural gas normally passes through it.
▸ A kangaroo escaped a petting zoo at the Saline County Fairgrounds in Missouri on Saturday after a child left the gate open. A resident spotted it Sunday, and Marshall police, an animal control officer and a local who knows exotic animals caught it and sent it home to Warrensburg.
✦ THE ONE GOOD THING
Fine. Alastair Cass watched Arsenal lose 3 to 0 to Brighton and walked out of his house in Chulmleigh, Devon, because he had had enough. On the way to his barn he heard cries for help and found a woman named Sallie stuck chest-deep in mud in a ditch, where she had been for four hours. His rope and boards could not pull her out, so he called for help and guided the rescuers in. Firefighters, police, four ambulance crews and helicopters freed her two hours later. In her thank-you card, she thanked Arsenal for playing badly. The next time my team falls apart, I am going for a walk.
If you fly for Thanksgiving, circle October 23.
THE GRUMP · (AND LARRY)