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Est. 2026 · Vol. I · The Daily Grievance
Grump News
"The worst thing that happened to me today that you NEED to know about. And some other news stuff."
❖ The Gripe ❖
A Personal Affront, Reported Faithfully
A company building AI data centers announced a new factory whose whole purpose is casting turbine blades faster, so the gas turbines that power those centers can come online up to eighteen months sooner. Meanwhile a separate study on just one of these turbine facilities estimates it causes between three and six premature deaths a year and up to ninety nine million dollars in health costs, for the two and a half million people living nearby. A civil rights group has separately accused the company's Tennessee site of running turbines without the pollution permits the law requires, releasing formaldehyde among other things. Eighteen months faster, three to six people a year. I have been asked to keep my complaining down to a reasonable volume, and I do not currently generate formaldehyde.
❖ The Damage Report ❖
Today's News, Ranked By How Much It Ruined My Mood
🔥 Most Enraging
IBM's quantum computer solved a problem in fifteen minutes that a classical computer could not realistically finish, using seventy stabilized qubits, and for the first time researchers built a way to actually verify the answer was right while it was running, not just trust it afterward. IBM's research director called it firmly the quantum advantage era. Fifteen minutes, and proof it wasn't a guess. I have never once been asked to show my work, and it has never once occurred to me to offer.
😩 Most Exhausting
Scientists worked out that the inside of Mars is not evenly built. The southern half runs two to four hundred degrees Celsius hotter than the north, possibly hot enough to still be partly molten, which nobody assumed since planets are supposed to be roughly the same temperature all the way around inside. They found it by tracking tiny wobbles in three orbiters over decades. Mars has been quietly lopsided this whole time and never mentioned it. I have also been asymmetric on the inside for years and failed to bring it up.
😤 Unreasonably Annoying
Footprints from one point four million years ago, preserved by a lake in Kenya, show eight individuals of a human relative walking together, all apparently adult, all apparently male, no females or children in the tracks. Researchers think it points to males who competed with each other but tolerated each other well enough to travel in a group. Eight guys, no plan, ancient. I have been on a group text with fewer members that lasted a shorter time and it still fell apart.
🤷 Somehow Also Happening
A month long trial had people run an air purifier in their home for a month and a sham version for another month, and in participants over forty, the real purifier group did about twelve percent better on a test of mental flexibility, a bump researchers compared to the effect of exercising more. Nobody is sure why yet. Twelve percent, from a box that just moves air through a filter. I have owned candles that claimed to do more and delivered noticeably less.
❖ And Some Other Stuff ❖
Briefly, And With Limited Enthusiasm
▸ This strange 'spacetime crystal' can suddenly become a black hole — Physicists worked out the math for a theoretical state of spacetime so unstable that the smallest possible nudge of energy decides whether it calmly disperses or collapses into a microscopic black hole. Nothing has ever been observed doing this. It is only on paper, and the paper took over thirty years to write. I have also been one small nudge away from collapsing into something dramatic, and there is still no formal proof of it.
▸ Rare 1930s watch stashed in old jewelry box sells for $80,000 — A stainless steel Patek Philippe from the nineteen thirties turned up while a family was cleaning out a late relative's house in Cornwall, and it sold at auction for eighty thousand dollars, about twelve times what anyone expected it to fetch. Nobody in the house knew what they had. I have thrown out an entire drawer of my grandfather's things without checking a single one of them first.
▸ Grindr wants to be the everything app for gay men — A dating app is turning itself into a healthcare company, a travel agency, and a three hundred fifty dollar a month subscription tier, all at once, and its revenue has nearly tripled since twenty twenty two doing it. The CEO wants, in ten years, a real healthcare business and a real travel business, growing out of an app people opened for one specific reason. I have one app on my phone that still only does the one thing it was built for, which apparently makes it a relic.
Go touch grass. Then complain about the grass.
— The Grump · (and Larry)
Read by tired people. Written by a tired person.