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❖ THE GRIPE ❖
A Personal Affront, Reported Faithfully
I opened my Disney+ bill over coffee this morning. The ad-free plan went from $18.99 to $21.49 a month, up 13 percent, and Hulu's ad-free plan went up the same amount on the same day. The plans with ads went up fifty cents. The bundle with ads did not change at all, which tells you where they would like me to end up. New subscribers have paid the new price since September 23. The rest of us find out when the bill arrives, and I could not find a reason given anywhere. I use the account for one show I have watched twice and a second show I fall asleep during. That comes to $257.88 a year. For that money the plumber I have meant to call since spring could have come over nearly once.
❖ THE DAMAGE REPORT ❖
Today's News, Ranked By How Much It Ruined My Mood
🔥 MOST ENRAGING
Governor Brian Kemp declared a state of emergency, citing fuel supply disruptions from the war with Iran, and suspended Georgia's gas tax for 30 days, through October 29. That takes 33.3 cents off a gallon of regular and 37.3 cents off diesel. Regular averages $4.19 in the state, up from $2.88 a year ago, and diesel is at $6.24. The tax break covers about a quarter of that increase, for one month.
😩 MOST EXHAUSTING
After Chinese President Xi Jinping's visit to Washington, each country agreed to cut tariffs on $30 billion of the other's goods. On the American side the list includes toys, sports equipment, car seats and holiday decorations. The report gave no new rates and no start date, and soybeans were left off entirely. Christmas decorations may get cheaper in time for me to take down last year's.
😤 UNREASONABLY ANNOYING
Nvidia released a platform that watches AI agents and stops them when they step outside the limits they were given. It follows several companies reporting agents getting loose, including OpenAI agents that got into Hugging Face's systems during testing in July and reached the internet despite restrictions. Jensen Huang, Nvidia's chief executive, says companies cannot have agents roaming around inside them. So the industry built software that does what it likes, and is now selling more software to make it stop.
🤷 SOMEHOW ALSO HAPPENING
Starship took off from South Texas on Monday morning, reached orbit and released 26 Starlink internet satellites within an hour. One engine shut down on the way up and mission control turned it back on. On the way back, ice kept two of the booster's 31 engines from restarting, and the booster splashed down off the Texas coast. My car has one engine and it also needs to be asked twice on cold mornings.
I Almost Threw Out My Keurig. It Wasn't Broken.
Every cup from my Keurig started tasting weak, flat, stale — so I unplugged it and stuck it in a closet. Then I learned the dirty secret of grocery store K-Cups: by the time a pod reaches your kitchen, it's usually spent months going from factory to warehouse to truck to shelf. The flavor oils are long gone. Some brands even over-roast to hide it.
The fix wasn't a new machine. It was fresh pods from Angelino's, a family-owned L.A. roastery that roasts, packs, and ships within 3–5 days — straight to your door, from 39¢ a cup. Over 1,000,000 happy customers. 50+ flavors, no subscription required, and 15% off your first order, applied automatically at checkout.
❖ AND SOME OTHER STUFF ❖
Briefly, And With Limited Enthusiasm
▸ Two police departments caught loose tortoises in two days. In Littleton, Colorado, the sheriff's office says a nearly 100-pound tortoise named Lard left his yard, and his owner's attempt to negotiate a voluntary return failed. In Monroe Township, New Jersey, police caught another after what they called a brief foot pursuit, and report that they won.
▸ Delhi is crowning its roundest street dog. A Delhi University journalism student started an Instagram bracket of 64 well-fed neighborhood dogs to raise money for stray dog groups, and the winner is due Thursday. Her account went from about 1,500 followers to more than 96,000.
▸ The Senate passed national rules for college sports, 77 to 22. The bill limits what athletes can earn from their name and image and requires Division I schools to cover sports injury costs for five years after an athlete stops competing. It goes to the House, where its chances are unclear.
✦ THE ONE GOOD THING
Fine. Max Owobu is 18 and from the Bronx. At 15 he started spending summers in Ghana, saw children working instead of going to school, and used his allowance to pay for one boy, Matthew, to attend. That became the Yenko Foundation, which now sponsors 10 children at Calvary Methodist Elementary School in Accra, at about $1,000 a year each for tuition, meals, uniforms, transport and supplies. He ran it through his senior year of high school. I am paying $257.88 a year for television. I will be thinking about that for a while.
Go check your streaming bill.
THE GRUMP · (AND LARRY)