Sponsored by
❖ THE GRIPE ❖
A Personal Affront, Reported Faithfully
Amazon may owe me money, and it will let me know. Under an expanded Federal Trade Commission settlement, Prime members who signed up between June 23, 2019, and June 23, 2025, can get up to $200 back. The original deal covered people who used fewer than 10 Prime benefits in a year. Now it covers people who used up to 20. The refund goes to the members who got the least out of Prime, which is a fair summary of the complaint. The settlement is $2.5 billion, with $1.5 billion in refunds and a $1 billion penalty, over allegations that Amazon was deceptive about signing people up. Payments go out automatically by Venmo, PayPal or check, and everyone eligible should have theirs by April 2027. There is no form. The FTC says anyone who calls claiming to be from the agency about this is probably a scammer. The bigger refunds started going out Thursday, the week before Amazon's October Prime sale. I will check the mailbox, and if anyone calls about it, I will let it ring.
❖ THE DAMAGE REPORT ❖
Today's News, Ranked By How Much It Ruined My Mood
🔥 MOST ENRAGING
Humana's plan exits affect about 600,000 members. UnitedHealthcare is leaving about 140 counties, Aetna about 123 and Centene about 344. The average maximum out-of-pocket limit goes up about 9 percent next year, while the weighted average premium drops from $14.37 to $12 a month. Open enrollment runs October 15 through December 7. The monthly premium went down $2.37, and the most you can be asked to pay went up.
😩 MOST EXHAUSTING
Skydance-owned Paramount closed its $81 billion takeover of Warner Bros. Discovery on Tuesday, nearly $111 billion with debt. HBO Max, CNN, Paramount+, CBS, "Harry Potter" and "The Godfather" now sit under one company led by David Ellison. Warner first agreed to a deal with Netflix in December 2025, and 12 states sued to block this one in July. Skydance bought Paramount for $8 billion in 2025. This one cost about ten times that.
😤 UNREASONABLY ANNOYING
About 30 minutes after leaving London on Monday, the plane made a controlled descent from 36,000 feet to 9,000 feet in 10 minutes. The airline cited a technical issue. The plane then circled over Ireland for several hours to burn off fuel and landed safely at Heathrow that evening. The passengers spent several hours in the air and got off at the airport where they started.
🤷 SOMEHOW ALSO HAPPENING
Giorgia Meloni filed with the European Union Intellectual Property Office on October 5, with a four-second recording of her voice, to fight AI deepfakes. Italian media say that even if it is approved, it would not stop deepfakes by itself, though it could add legal obstacles. The application is still under examination. I would trademark my sigh, but it runs well over four seconds.
I Almost Threw Out My Keurig. It Wasn't Broken.
Every cup from my Keurig started tasting weak, flat, stale — so I unplugged it and stuck it in a closet. Then I learned the dirty secret of grocery store K-Cups: by the time a pod reaches your kitchen, it's usually spent months going from factory to warehouse to truck to shelf. The flavor oils are long gone. Some brands even over-roast to hide it.
The fix wasn't a new machine. It was fresh pods from Angelino's, a family-owned L.A. roastery that roasts, packs, and ships within 3–5 days — straight to your door, from 39¢ a cup. Over 1,000,000 happy customers. 50+ flavors, no subscription required, and 15% off your first order, applied automatically at checkout.
❖ AND SOME OTHER STUFF ❖
Briefly, And With Limited Enthusiasm
▸ The Yankees made three errors in the first inning of a playoff game, which last happened in the postseason in 1975. They lost Game 2 to the Rays, 5 to 2, and trail the division series 2 to 0, with Game 3 Wednesday night at Yankee Stadium. Ben Rice hit two home runs, which helped less than you would hope.
▸ About 1 million ACA enrollees on the federal exchanges who got no subsidies are getting $500 checks. Average premiums for enrollees went up $780 this year, a 58 percent increase. The check covers about two thirds of that, and about 18 million other enrollees get nothing.
▸ Saturn is up most of the night this month, and the Orionid meteor shower peaks October 21 and 22. Saturn reached opposition October 4, so it rises around sunset. The Orionids are debris from Halley's Comet, best seen before dawn after the Moon sets. Neither one charges a subscription.
✦ THE ONE GOOD THING
Fine. Beryl Dillman, believed to be Oregon's oldest man, turned 108 at his assisted living home in Eugene with dozens of guests. He met a new great-grandchild, Bella, at the party. He credits being careful about what he eats and drinks, and says he never bothered with alcohol. His family says he looks for solutions instead of complaining. I read that part twice. I am going to try his method on one problem today, and I am starting with the recycling bins.
Why We’re Accumulating Solana Right Now
Ten straight red monthly candles and record oversold RSI levels have shaken out weak hands. However, returning users, rising stablecoin supply, and institutional inflows signal a major disconnect between price and fundamentals. Get the free guide now.
No form to fill out. Enjoy it while it lasts.
THE GRUMP · (AND LARRY)